Lost.

About 3 months ago I lost a baby; it was one of the hardest things I have had to face among the many things I have dealt with in my life.  Like many people I handle my pain in a different way. The only way I could truly cope with everything was to turn to my passion and try to find a silver lining in between everything.  In the end I cover up my pain so much that I started to realize how I truly never really recovered from it. I just kept running from it... I know no one can really recover from a lost 100% and sometimes they never do.  It’s hard watching others hold their newborn babies close to them. Seeing women pregnant and going into stores and walking near or seeing maternity or baby clothes. Some days are harder then others and I learn to put on a smile so no one can see the pain I feel. I crave to hold you, to know who you would look like.  It doesn’t matter what others say, you were my baby and I loved you...  I embrace the moments I do have with my daughter more then ever now. As you realize nothing is promised and nothing is forever. So when you are face with the lost you have to find the silver lining somewhere. As sad as that may sound I have learn you have no choice but to move on because life is driving and passing you by and doesn’t plan to slow down for you. You have to hop on and go for a ride or take it for a drive.